We often hear that the holidays are a hard time for both elders and caregivers. Nothing is the way it was in the past, and often it is a time during which we become acutely aware of our losses. Whether we remember lost loved ones, lost traditions or lost capacity – the holidays can be reminders that time is marching on!

So how can we help our elders and their caregivers to make the most of the holiday season and avoid some of the “blues” that often accompany this time of year? Here are some tips that we hope will be helpful.

1) Keep your holiday plans simple. Things don’t have to be as hectic as all the media hype tries to make it.

2) Don’t be shy about letting others know what your limits are for specific events. For example, if you can attend a celebration only for a short time, let others know ahead of time, so that you don’t feel uncomfortable if you arrive late or leave early.

3) Keep meal preparations simple and ask others to contribute. Sometimes a meal with everyone bringing a dish is more interesting than if we take everything upon ourselves.

4) If you haven’t completed your shopping early, give gift cards. People love to have the holiday feeling linger a while longer as they shop the after holiday sales.

5) Create your own new tradition. If you cannot be with loved ones and you are concerned that the holiday won’t be special, try to do just one special thing that you can easily do as a new tradition. For example:

  • Write/record a story about a special time in your life;
  • Send the grandchildren something that has special meaning to you with an explanation of the
     meaning of the gift;
  • Reconnect with an old friend.

6) Share a recipe or some other family tradition with grandchildren and great grandchildren – you create a legacy for your family.

7) Make a point to spend time with someone you love and tell them how you feel.

8) Make a contribution (size is not important) to help someone or some group that is less fortunate than you (this can be a new holiday tradition!).

9) Even if you are alone you can create a special time with favorite music, pictures from the past and a special meal that makes you feel good. (I love to listen to music, have a little wine with cheese and read a good book – for me that is a real holiday!)

10) Do something that you wouldn’t ordinarily do – even if it is silly (especially if it is silly!) – just to make the time special.

Holidays are a state of mind. We can choose to make ourselves happy or to make ourselves miserable. Take the advice of my brother who doesn’t worry about birthday celebrations because he says, “everyday is my birthday.” Don’t you just know that he is a happy and self fulfilled person!

Mr. Smith is an 82-year old retired dentist with a history of depression, alcoholism and drug abuse.  He has a heart condition and emphysema.  When the Care Manager first met Mr. Smith, he had attempted suicide and was recovering in the hospital.  His son had contacted us with the hope we could find his father a safe place to live.  Mr. Smith had been living alone in a large house since his wife had died the previous year and he had become more and more depressed.  He is also a recovering alcoholic and, until this incident, had been sober for 12 years.

Mr. Smith’s daughter wanted him to go home with an aide, however his psychiatrist did not think that would be the best possible solution for him.  Nothing would change for him at home except that he would have an aide; his surroundings would remain full of memories of the past year.  His son agreed with the psychiatrist and requested our assistance in finding an appropriate assisted living facility for Mr. Smith, which he agreed to try. 

Mr. Smith does not need assistance with any ADLs, so his primary concern is his depression and the addiction that is part of his history.  He does need medication management because he is not only an alcoholic but, he has also been known to abuse prescription and over-the-counter drugs.  Finding an appropriate placement was important for his physical wellbeing and his mental health.  It was a difficult task to find an appropriate facility that would accept someone perceived as a suicide risk.

After multiple meetings with Mr. Smith, his family, and his doctor, the Care Manager found a suitable facility that offered many amenities and seemed to be ideal for him.  He moved there almost a year ago and appears to be doing well.  Counseling is available to him weekly and a nurse is on the premises to oversee his medication. He attends AA meetings weekly.  His room is periodically checked for over-the-counter medication that, on occasion, has been found. He takes part in all activities offered, is enjoying the meals, and can frequently be found on one of the many computers found in the game room. 

This holiday season marks the one year anniversary of a client who has overcome his depression to create a new beginning in a healthier environment.  Assuring that clients have a healthy environment and the support they need to combat mental health issues is a large part of the care management process.

If you have a loved one or a client who is challenged by the holiday blues or other mental health concerns, we can help!

As the year draws to a close, we want to recognize and appreciate the work that is done by our dedicated home healthcare staff.  These are the individuals that make it possible for our clients to remain at home with quality care in the security of their own environment.

Because of the support and education that we provide to our home healthcare staff, we often have them working with us for many years.  Sometimes we have several workers from the same family.  One of our long time aides recently thanked me for all of the years of work, stating that she always felt that she had wonderful support from everyone in the office and that as a result of her work, she was able to buy her own home!  This was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.

On Friday December 15th we honored all of our home healthcare staff with a special recognition for 47 aides and nurses who have been with our company for 5 or more years.  Twenty one (21) aides have been with us for 5-6 years and the other 26 aides and nurses have been with us for 7 – 12 years!

We are grateful for the devotion, compassion, wisdom and sincerity that you bring to the job, to our clients and to the company!  We trust that your good works will bring you fulfillment, joy, peace, love and prosperity… always.

Happy Holidays and the Best Wishes for the New Year!