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May is Older Americans Month: Let’s Value Our Elders!
Success Story: Values and Civic Engagement
Rona Bartelstone On the Radio
May is Older Americans Month: Let’s Value Our Elders!
by Rona S. Bartelstone, LCSW, BCD, CMC, C-ASWCM
As we enjoy Spring and the renewal it brings, let’s remember to also bask in the continuity of life and community that is exemplified by our elders. After almost 35 years in the aging field, I confess that most everything that I know, I learned from my clients and other elders in my life! So this month we recognize the Value that our elders bring to our lives and to the community.
Even when we are not fond of the elders in our own family, we can find appreciation in the other mentors in our lives. When I first began my eldercare company, I looked to a elder who had retired from the field of aging to provide supervision and consultation. The first time that I met her she reminded me that my model had been hugely influenced by her work. With humor, she offered her support and became one of many who have provided guidance during my journey.
Here are some of the lessons that I have learned from the treasured voices of my past:
- The value of having perspective and differentiating the important life issues from the small stuff that we have to tolerate without becoming distracted.
- Humor is an important trait of coping with life’s challenges. And it’s not about being funny; it’s about being able to see the irony and strange twists in life. It’s about being able to laugh at ourselves.
- The importance of knowing one’s past. It is helpful to see the context within which our lives unfold. It doesn’t mean clinging to old ways, but rather seeing the value they had in their time.
- Seeing life as an adventure to be lived fully. No matter what obstacles or hardships come along, it is important to create opportunities for fun, relaxation, another perspective, another road; to make the most of each situation.
- Along with that is the value of continuing to learn. Learning keeps us fresh and engaged with life and people. It can be the books we read, the side roads we take, the people we choose to meet, the food we eat, and the attention we pay to the vastness that envelops us.
- Continuing to have new relationships is another secret to staying vital. Whether for purely social reasons, as part of our education or for the purpose of staying involved in our communities, new relationships help us to stay alive, challenged, engaged and engaging.
- Giving back is another value that comes from my elders. It is important to contribute back to the world. It is good for our own souls, as much as it is good for others.
- I have learned the importance of forgiveness, whether for small injuries or behaviors that people had no idea were hurtful.
- Having gratitude is another trait of a healthy life. Even when we have difficulty in life, we still have it better than our ancestors and better than most other people in the world.
- Lastly is the incredible value of unconditional love. If you have experienced it, you are truly blessed. If you have had the opportunity to give it, you are even more blessed. It is truly the substance of life!
Thank you to our elders –all are valued for the lessons you taught, the strength and wisdom that you shared, and the grace that you epitomize. You are a guiding light!
Sidebar:
Here are some tips for “mining” the wisdom of the elders in your life.
- Ask them to tell you about a specific event in their life. Asking for their life story may be overwhelming, so by getting small pieces, we can put together the puzzle of their lives.
- Find out who was a role model for them. Who did they admire and why?
- Ask about an adventure they may have had. A time when they did something they weren’t supposed to, something forbidden or new.
- Seek to know about their special loves. Inquire about romances or other special relationships.
- Inquire about their favorite music, books, movies and what they remember when they think of them.
- Find out what made them laugh. See if they can recall some of the times when they had lots of laughter.
- Find out what they think is their most important accomplishment in life.
- Ask for their advice about what would help you to have a better, happier or more successful life.
Let the conversation begin!
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Success Story: Values and Civic Engagement
by Linda Gaibel, LCSW
Yvonne is an eighty-three year old woman who loves to be able to give back to the community. For forty-three years she worked full-time as a medical lab technician, becoming a coordinator before retiring.
Once retired, she and her husband volunteered at the Bronx Zoo. After twelve weeks of training they enjoyed leading field trips for school children. Yvonne and her husband continued this volunteer work for eighteen years, until they decided to move to Florida. They continued their interest in animals and educating children, by volunteering in a nearby nature center, until her husband passed away three years ago.
Yvonne’s two daughters called Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare to request that a Care Manager evaluate services that would enable their mother to maintain her independence in her own apartment. She was having increasing pain in her back and legs that limited her functioning and caused several falls. Linda Gaibel, LCSW began seeing her every two weeks and arranged for an aide to help maintain her routine. The aide also takes her shopping and on an occasional trip to a museum or nature preserve. Linda found a new doctor who recommended physical therapy to improve balance and stability. After a series of physical therapy sessions, her walking is more comfortable and stable.
Yvonne’s beloved pet of 19 years, Julia the cat, has been ill recently. Yvonne gives the cat very special care. She is anticipating the loss and is going through a grieving process, while enjoying their very special relationship. The Care Manager is supporting Yvonne emotionally in this process.
Yvonne loves to reminisce about her life, especially her years of volunteering at the Zoo. She has a great sense of humor and loves to share anecdotes about her experiences. Once while Yvonne was lecturing to a group of graduate students the gorilla behind her began imitating Yvonne who was using her hands to emphasize her main points. The entire class got hysterical with laughter.
Yvonne is demonstrating the positive aspects of aging well despite many losses and chronic health problems. She is anticipating a reunion with other zoo volunteers and a family wedding. She is a role model for the values of our elders, who teach us that our legacy lies in the way we meet life’s challenges, the wisdom we share and the humor that enables us to cope with adversity and keep our loved ones connected to us.
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Rona Bartelstone On the Radio
Rona Bartelstone was interviewed on the Retiring with Health and Wealth program featuring the LTC Guys.
The interview aired in the Fort Myers area on WINK 96.9 AM.
During this interview Rona explains what Private Duty Custodial Care means for the individual that is being cared for. She also goes on to explain the difference between Home Healthcare and Care Management and all of the services that are provided by Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare Inc.
Rona also participated as a panelist on the radio broadcast of The Shifter Sisters title "The Sandwich Generation" During this interview Rona explains “The Sandwich Generation” and the role that we play in this care giving situation. All of the panelist cover issues from the emotional stress of being a care giver (personal or professional) to parents not wanting to be a burden on their children during the most crucial years that require more care depending on their health.
 Click here to listen to the interviews
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