Turn on Your Heart Light: Strategies for Healthy Mind,
Body & Spirit
by Rona Bartelstone LCSW, BCD, CMC, Chief Executive Officer
Since February is National Heart Month and Valentine’s Day, we wanted to focus on heart health from both a physical and emotional perspective. Is it possible to really stay heart healthy? Is it possible to stay really “well” even when life throws a curve and forces us to live with health issues, losses or disabilities?
While there are no guarantees about what the future will bring, perhaps there are things that we can do to try to assure that we can in fact, “get the best from the rest.” Although we realize, as we age, that there are many things over which we have no control, there are several things that we can do that will help us for those future crises. Here are some of those planning things that can make life’s challenges a little easier:
© Learn good self care in the form of preventive health testing, good nutrition and at least a
little physical activity;
© When medical or social issues arise – address them early right away;
© Maintain social connections to feel part of your community;
© Keep your mind stimulated with any activities that you enjoy;
© Find new or continuing activities that provide you with a sense of purpose and meaning; and
© Plan for the worst, while hoping for the best. This means legal planning, financial planning and
healthcare planning, plus sharing ALL of your wishes with your family or close
friends/advisors.
By doing the above, we can all get a head start on coping with any negative changes that may affect our lives. However, coping with the tragedies that sometimes befall us during life requires more than just good planning. Caregivers and people who cope well with adversity have many traits that help them to survive and even flourish. Here are some ideas:
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Acknowledge your feelings. It is ok to have negative feelings when you find yourself in an unhappy situation.
By acknowledging
and giving expression to your feelings you vent them so that you can use your energy for what needs to be done. Even ugly feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety and fear are ok – it is human! |
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Be aware of the way that you talk to yourself and whether you are helping or hurting yourself. Now is the time to be loving, accepting and gentle of who we are. We need to accept our strengths and weaknesses, so that we can get the help that we need to go on. Try to reinforce the strengths and positive qualities, while refraining from punishing yourself about the weaknesses. |
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Build your own self esteem by recognizing all of the things that you do well and all of the strength you have. Acknowledge accomplishments and the good people and things that remain in your life. |
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Choose & set limits. Learn to say “no.” Caregivers get so used to doing everything for another person that it is hard to say “no” to others even when it is appropriate. Limit your emotional reactions by walking away from an uncomfortable situation and dealing with it when you have had time to think about a calm response. |
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Find Relaxation in any healthy way you can. Use music, humor, reading, movies, meditation, respite services, a walk, go fishing, take a hot bath, a massage or anything that gives you a few moments of peace to renew yourself. |
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Improve Communications. Learn to express your emotions in a direct manner that starts with the expression, “I feel…” to help avoid blaming others. Be specific in describing your feelings or needs. When you are not sure what is being communicated, ask for clarification. Try to express warmth, acceptance and love whenever possible. Listen to the feelings not just the words of others. This makes it easier to respond in kind. |
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Stay in the moment and hold onto those precious moments of laughter, joy, reminiscence and peace so that you can call on them again when you need a lift. |
One of my favorite authors is Anais Nin. She wrote, “We don’t see things are they are, we see things as we are.” So if we can be calm and loving, even when we are in pain we are more likely to be able to cope with life’s trials a little better. I am grateful for my optimism because he helps me over many hurtles and keeps my heart light burning brightly!
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