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The Grieving Family
Mr. B was also a long distance caregiver, who was very close to and concerned about his
92 year old mother. As Mr. B began to recognize the increasing memory loss and physical
frailty of his mother, he became more anxious about her care and her safety. There were
health issues that resulted in regular hospitalizations, but Mr. B could not keep track
of her needs because of her memory loss and the extremely private nature of her personality.
When Mr. B contacted Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare, he was concerned that
his mother's private personality would make it impossible for us to help him and his mother then
and into the future. Care manager Barbara Harris approached Mrs. B in a very non-threatening,
social manner. The relationship progressed slowly through grocery shopping visits, then doctor
appointments, to issues around health, safety and household management over a period of months.
During this time Ms. Harris was able to keep Mr. B informed about his mother's cognitive, functional,
medical and safety needs, so that they could address the challenges together. Gradually, Mrs. B began
to consider the Ms. Harris as she would a dear friend.
As the years passed, Ms. Harris was instrumental in managing Mrs. B's health care needs, so that
the son had peace of mind that everything was being addressed and monitored in a professional manner.
Gradually, it was possible to introduce an aide, who also developed her relationship with Mrs. B very
slowly under the guidance of Ms. Harris. This was especially challenging because it became necessary
to help Mrs. B with the intimate tasks of bathing and dressing, in addition to nutrition, safety, doctor
appointments, medication reminders and social outings. Ms. Harris worked closely with the aide to manage
any concerns that arose, and she worked closely with the son to keep him informed and to help him plan
for future needs.
As Mrs. B became more frail and forgetful, Ms. Harris encouraged the son to explore the possibility of
assisted living for his mother. He was hesitant to consider this, as were other members of the family.
However, Ms. Harris was able to introduce him to a number of appropriate facilities that would better
meet his mother's needs than remaining at home. Ms. Harris worked closely with the family to educate
them about assisted living and to distinguish it from nursing home care, which they all feared.
When the placement was finally made, it turned out that Mrs. B enjoyed a better quality of life in this
community then she had at home. Ms. Harris stayed involved as the care manager to assure that she was
getting good care and to provide emotional support, information and guidance to her son. Even when Mrs.
B's memory became so poor that she no longer knew Ms. Harris' name, Mrs. B always had a big smile on her
face when she saw her care manager, referring to her as "my old friend."
After his mother passed away at the age of 97, Mr. B wrote a beautiful letter to Rona Bartelstone Care
Management & Home Healthcare stating that he felt, "the care manager's service and relationship with him,
his mother and her doctors was invaluable." He further stated that, "he will always remember the care
manager as being the caring, sensitive professional he counted on to provide the special compassionate
care for his mother."
Mr. B continued his contacts with Ms. Harris for a short time after the death of his mother to help him
with his grief. He had come to consider Ms. Harris as his "old friend" too.
For more information on any of the above and how we can help you, please contact:
Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare
phone: 1.800.678.7224
email: info@rbacare.com
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