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The Struggling Family
Mrs. G's daughter called requesting care management services for her mother
because she was "beside herself" with worry and despair. Mrs. G was an 80-year-old
widow living alone in her condo and calling her daughter with complaints, concerns,
fears and worries several times each day. Mrs. G had always been challenged in managing
her relationships. She had a brother with whom there was no relationship and a son
with whom she had not spoken in many years.
When Mrs. G called her daughter several times each day, she would complain that there
was no food in the house, she hadn't been eating and she couldn't remember if she had
taken any of her many pills. She was isolated and alone and feeling very afraid. Despite
her anxiety and fears, she didn't trust people, and the daughter characterized her as
someone who "fights with everybody." Because of this, Mrs. G's daughter didn't have
much hope for the care management service or the ability to provide home healthcare.
Care manager Gail Edelman approached Mrs. G. in a very low-key, empathic manner and
initiated a social connection by stressing the areas of their lives that were similar.
Because of her non-threatening manner, Mrs. G began to easily share her concerns about
health issues. These included complaints of dizziness and feeling faint, combined with
her uncertainty about which of the 30 pills she should be taking! Ms. Edelman's manner
helped Mrs. G feel in control of her own situation and to work with the care manager
instead of feeling that it was an imposition.
As a result of this gentle, non-threatening approach by Ms. Edelman, the client allowed
Ms. Edelman after only a few visits to take her to the doctor for a review of her medications.
She was also able to inquire about new medication for Mrs. G's stress, anxiety and paranoia.
Mrs. G gradually developed a trusting relationship which enabled the Ms. Edelman to introduce a
home healthcare worker. This also resulted in the client agreeing to stop driving once she
had the aide who could take her out.
Having the support of her care manager and the home health aide enabled Mrs. G and her daughter to
have a less stressful relationship. Ms. Edelman also helped the daughter to learn how to set
appropriate limits on her conversations with her mother that were too disturbing and non-productive.
The daughter calls her mother's care manager a "miracle worker" for helping to ease an untenable
situation and enable her to care for her mother without all of the anger, stress and burnout!
For more information on any of the above and how we can help you, please contact:
Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare
phone: 1.800.678.7224
email: info@rbacare.com
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