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UPDATE: Checking in with George
George was the single man who lost his brother-in-law and sister within a relatively short
period of time. With the loss of his brother-in-law, there were concerns that we might loose
George as well because he was so dependent.
Yet with the strength of the care manager's
relationship with George, he survived the loss of his brother-in-law and subsequently his
sister. George went on to make a remarkable recovery from his grief and become a more
independent, social individual with the ongoing support of his home healthcare staff and
his care manager.
How's that for turnaround?
When Sandy Goldberg, his care manager, had hip surgery, George became very anxious and
worried about her health. Years ago, George had both hips replaced, so he understood what
Sandy was experiencing.
When Sandy arrived back in her hospital room after the surgery, George was the first visitor
to appear at her bedside. He brought her flowers and words of encouragement. He spent a good
part of the afternoon visiting, meeting Sandy's family and grandchildren, and spreading his
love and good cheer.
Now that Sandy is at home recuperating, George has his aide call her every week to see how she
is doing. He checks with Sandy to be sure that she is doing her exercises and following all of
the instructions for her recovery.
When the substitute care manager goes to visit George and his home healthcare aide, the first
question he asks is about Sandy's progress. He can't wait for Sandy to return to work so that he
can visit again with her in person.
He has truly adopted Sandy emotionally as his own family.
That's what we do at Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare-our family taking care of
your family. And sometimes we become family right back!
Surviving Losses
George was a 95 year old, single man when he was facing the loss of his two closest relatives and
friends. He didn't think he could survive these overwhelming transitions, but with the help of his
care manager he continues to thrive despite his grief.
In the past 2 1/2 years, George lost his brother-in-law and then his sister. They were a very close
family that traveled, socialized and finally settled as a trio in Florida. Apart from his sister
and brother-in-law, George who had never married had few friends.
The brother-in-law was the first to die and George became depressed because he and his sister,
who had dementia and functional limitations, depended totally on him. The brother took care of his ailing
wife, he cooked, shopped and paid all the bills for the three of them. The brother also had a great
sense of humor, which helped everyone to cope with their stressful caregiving responsibilities.
Although there was an aide to help with the physical care of his sister, George felt incapable of
supervising her care and this increased his anxiety.
George's depression wouldn't allow him to eat and he couldn't stop crying. He was totally overwhelmed
by his grief and anxiety. Even the aide couldn't get him to eat.
Fortunately they had an attorney, who was also their Trustee who contacted Rona Bartelstone Care
Management & Home Healthcare for support in caring for George and his sister. During the initial
home-visit it was determined the George needed counseling and an antidepressant. It was further
recommended that his sister have 24 hour home care to assure her physical safety and wellbeing. This
was started immediately, and quickly gave George a little relief because he did not feel so alone in
his new caregiving responsibilities.
With weekly emotional support from Sandy Goldberg, the care manager, George began to eat better and
his depression was helped by the medication. The care manager also provided support and guidance to
the aide in caring for his sister, which further helped George to be reassured that she was getting
the best possible care.
Unfortunately, the sister's dementia worsened and she was beginning to have some behavioral problems.
As a result of this she fell and fractured her hip and shoulder. She was considered too frail for
surgery and after six months in a rehabilitation facility, she also passed away.
With this second crisis, the care manager provided additional support to George to help him through
this new acute phase of his grief. The care manager worked with the physician and a psychiatric nurse
who was adjusting his antidepressant medication. An appetite enhancer was also added because he was
again experiencing difficulty getting enough nutrition.
With the support of his medical healthcare team, the care manager and the aide, who continued to work
with George, he was able to cope with the loss of his sister without becoming ill. He knew he was being
well cared for and had a sense of stability with all of the care and emotional support that was being
provided. This time, instead of becoming immobilized, George was able to participate in making the
funeral arrangements for his sister and helped to discard the belongings of his sister and brother-in-law.
George still has home healthcare from his trusted aide. He is functioning better and more independently now,
including taking responsibility for his own medical appointments. He continues to find the support of the
care management relationship as a stabilizing influence in his life. He and Sandy Goldberg have a great
rapport and this provides George with a feeling of having a surrogate family, which he desperately needs
for his mental health.
George is a perfect example of the power of the care management relationship in times of loss and transition.
This relationship has enabled him to remain as independent as possible, to reside in the community and to
cope with his losses.
For more information on any of the above and how we can help you, please contact:
Rona Bartelstone Care Management & Home Healthcare
phone: 1.800.678.7224
email: info@rbacare.com
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